choclit milkshake

f1aminko @ 2008-07-24T11:28:00

2008-07-24T01:34:42Z

i found this on craigslist melbourne. haha, im wondering if its a scam. $$ would be really good about now..
or even this
haha. im getting pretty desperate.

tell me we both matter.

2008-07-23T00:31:56Z

i havent been to tafe all week D:
i'm just sitting at home typing away on my computer.
actually, i'll take some photos. maybe.

i decided what im going to do, sort of; take the rest of this semester off, work, get a fuckload of images done, and start up therapy again. i need to get my life back on track; and all i want to do at the moment is run away from everything and everyone.

i saw maggie yesterday and we got high.
it was good to catch up with her - at the moment i'm finding it so hard to talk to people. maggie is who i turn to when i feel like noone else will listen. i'm glad that i feel at ease around her. haha, it's also funny because she is so freaking young; a little crazy.

i need to fix my hair. the blonde is growing out terribly, the side bits kitten buzzed for me have grown out already, and i'm getting antsy waiting for it to grow. i haven't got around to dying it blue yet. maybe i'll head into the city tomorrow and buy supplies. then, lure someone home to help me dye it. god i'm so lame.
i'm looking around to some cheapo extentions or something. charo said she'd make some falls for me too, so that'll be good.
i miss looking like a girl. haha.

editt

see the DS Case?

i finally got around to finishing it. haha

and also - how impressive is this girls hair?!

its so delicious. im jealous.

(OH MY GOD. my co-ordinator called and left a message. and almost gave me a fucking anxiety attack. i need to fix this. i really really do)

i;m at my best when i'm helping others.

2008-07-21T11:25:15Z

for some odd reason, i don't know why, i joined dyke_riot. probably because for some stupid reason i need validation. hah, like always.

oh well.
i spent most of today not at tafe, like i should have been, but i was at home working on my drawing. i have two weeks to plan/finalize my first major drawing for this semester. and, if i'm going to get anywhere in this course i have to plan my dates really carefully.

i've been trying to make myself feel better by reading chucknorrisfacts.com, which is fucking hilarious.
it's keeping me amused, and keeping my mind super busy.
also. skins is back on tonight after a two week break because of the freaking tour de france. *shakesfist*

i really feel like some pot. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

where.

2008-07-20T11:12:35Z

HAHAHA. i'm so unrealiable it isn't even funny anymore.

i think i need some more lj friends. i just feel like everyone's so inactive! haha.

(this is nubby and gala by bianca alexis, btw)
this image, reminds me of me and paige. once i can afford to not live at home, we'll be out in the big wide world together.
i'll feel like going for a stroll, so we'll dress up and run out into the street to see what the stars look like tonight.
here i am assuming she'll want to live with me. lolololol.

im so anxiously awaiting the future. but i always dream too much and thats my downfall.
wow. things, LOOK UP :)

(btw. my room is looking so naked atm. its ridiculously dusty in there. i need a vaccuum pronto!

k. so

2008-07-19T23:34:37Z

here's the deal - im in the process of setting up my paypal account, so i'll be able to start trading/selling stuff soon.
i'm working on getting my life on track. which is funny, because it's something like a natural disaster atm. haha.

paige, patrick, sheridyn, maggie. i'm going to miss you all the most.
you are probably the only one's im going to try and contact during this time. i love you all so so much. im sorry for hurting you.

ok. im going back to re-doing my room. lots of photos later.

<3

way out.

2008-07-19T06:39:37Z

haha. i got stuck into cleaning my room this morning. then stupidly decided that i was going to re-pierce my belly (which, by the way, i never really enjoyed having pierced).
half-pierced it. then got super woozy, to then pass-out for abuot, 40mins? crawled into my sister's bed to sleep it off. stuffed my face with food to pick up my blood pressure, so i can feel less woozy for training tomorrow (which im returning too).
monday during the day i've got to go and take photos for tafe, and pick up a helmet/mouthguard (with next week's cash)

its funny. as my physical health is deteriorating, my mental/emotional health is not that bad.
but, im at my best when worrying about others. duh.

BAHAHA

2008-07-16T06:37:37Z

fuck natalie dee makes me loll.

any at all?

2008-07-15T23:51:14Z

is anyone interested in buying/trading plugs?
(i'm asking here before i go over to gaugetrade)

holla if you're interested.

I IS SPAMMIN UR T00NS

2008-07-14T05:43:16Z

ok. so i worked out whats really wrong with me. haha. ready?

i've put on three kilo's. my sudden hunger, but lack of energy is not making any sense to me at all.
i am frustrated at my current lack of control and ability to do or say anything to anyone.
i am annoyed at the way i need validation for every little thing i do.
i hate the way i always try and start a-new, and it just gets me right back here again.
i dislike how i am not committed enough to see things through till the end.
i wish that i could change how i react to people. how i interact with people. how i worry about nothing.

and. i hate the mania worse than the lows. ugh ugh ugh.

panicpanicpanic

2008-07-14T03:49:03Z

haha. i feel ~~kinda~~ VERY stupid. im getting a lot panicky over little things (or nothing) and its embarrasing.
but you know, its just about the same old usual stuff. lame, right?

(i didn't go to tafe today. oh well...)

i kinda half had a panic attack about next year and studying. stupid, right?
and uh, oh well.
maybe dying my hair sooon. blonde is overrated.

something strange is happening.

2008-07-09T03:11:35Z

i spent sunday night with at paiges. a strange night. i felt so anxious. didn't feel as stoned as i really freaking was.
but most of all, i felt stupidly responsible. i feel bad. i feel, like i should have done something. or, something else.

mum came home on monday night. i hugged her and cried into her shoulders. but thats not what was strange.
i don't even know what was strange. oh wait. i do.
i feel that everything that could have gone wrong, is. but i've never been this inspired, ever. i want to take photos of everything, and anything.

i have no job, no car, minimal friends, and no idea where i'm going. but i don't care.
i want to get out and start shooting. i want to dye my hair blue. i want to work for three months, save up enough to travel and then scoot across the land to somewhere new.

i got a letter from my family's financial planner. i'm getting tax back this year, even though i only worked for four months of the financial year.
i don't want to think about money, or the future.
i just want company. and someone who needs affection the same way i do.

creeeeeeeeeep.

2008-07-05T05:28:49Z

i fixed my myspazz.

and im sniffly. yuk.

no no no

2008-07-02T00:07:57Z

this article couldn't have come at a better time. and in response to my last post....

no wonder i'm feeling so strange.
i have never been complimented from different people this much in my life. which is leaving my body in a mess at how to repond to this.

i am positively glowing. and it's a strange and unusual thing!

haha. i'm drinking out of the carton. because mum isn't here and i'm the only one that drinks soymilk in the house atm (Y)
i like this 'mothernotbeinghere' thing atm. it's allowing me and connie to pick up the pace with housework and daily domestics. i like it :)
the independence is good too. even though dad is probably very :s about things, i'm only going out on sunday night (staying over), and out today and friday. so i guess he can deal with that *hmph!*

i'm feeling very resolute and inspired at the moment. i like it! :D

good times with great people.

2008-07-01T06:34:02Z

the time spent with you makes everything worth it. honestly.

knowing that i have people that care and are willing to spend time with me makes me realise that in five years, the trouble i get in now won't mean anything.

it's worth it. every second with you guys, it is worth it. and so much more.

thankyou so much for supporting me and sometimes just giving me a well needed cuddle.

you mean the world to me.
loveyou always. z.

i'm feeling so overwhelmed right now.
its scaring me.

f1aminko @ 2008-06-28T16:28:00

2008-06-28T06:33:18Z

wordle anyone?

good girls make great liars.

2008-06-28T01:01:41Z

YAY for fun times ^___^

yesterday, connie finished school fort he term so we went and took japanese sticker photos (purikura, fyi)

and wandered around for a bit. connie showed me most epic asian food grocery store ever, at QV (Y)

and then. that night i caught up with ry & patty & bec & len & a whole bunch of other people ^___^
teehee. it was an awesome night. and yeah.
im so grateful for my friends. srsly. i have no idea sometimes why i doubt them. ugh.

LOVE YOU ALL!

shrunken heads for all occasions.

2008-06-26T07:52:36Z

aaaaaaaaaaaah getting a job soon. lolz. well trying.
didn't ne dup going shopping today, did some more work on that DS case of mine.

we might be re-arranging some things, but nothing's in concrete yet.
and, mum will be gone all of next week, so i'll be trying to get out of the house as much as possible (Y)

um. i hope everyone is ok. i'm meeting up with kat tomorrow. hmm..

i'd rather be skating.

2008-06-23T06:54:49Z

i just bought a cute little case for my ds (and other things) and am about to go art student on its ass. i'll take some images and let you know how it goes. of course before and after pics :D i'm thinking leopard print and studs.... ah damn. i just ran upstairs and i have little to no material left D:
i need to make a huuuuuge trip to spotlight to go and get a shitload of clothes-making provisions *plots* this break is going to be mad :)

i went to tafe today and finished both my major paintings, along with two other painting tasks. so i only have sculpture to finish off at tafe, and then a minor painting task to be done over the holidays, and thats it! :D

i haven't been this excited about a lot of things, since, well, three month's ago. i'm just glad i got through may and june, to be honest.
me and mum might go shopping this week. well, i'm hoping before everyone else get's on holidays and then those little spoilt scenies get all the good threads *shakesfist*

oh! and if you have't already, add me to msn -> c.wolfe@hotmail.co.uk
i get lonely sometimes.

(and, i haven't changed anything in my profile yet, seeing as my web is being stupid! grr...)

what are you going to say when she picks up the phone?

2008-06-22T06:00:58Z

i love that i can just be sitting on the computer, playing some tunes, mucking around on the web. and have my sister walk in, boogie along and re-create rancid lyrics xD

my sister's going with one of our friends to see that zohan movie. i made myself a really bad mocha after a crazy to try and wake myself up and all it's done has made me want to pee really bad.
oh yeah, weekend!
it was my 19th birthday yesterday. really, i didn't tell anyone, and the only people that really knew were my family and a few close friends. i don't like to advertise it, to be honest it's really just a day that doesn't hold that much importance to me personally. anyway, i went skating with comakisses and her friends friday night, and i had a really freaking awesome time; it just gave me a lot of confidence to know that i can skate a little better than before. (some more stuff on this rollerderby thing a little later..), and just chilled out the rest of the night. saturday i spent most the day waiting for a friend who got sick :( but still managed to get some decent window shopping done. and today, just relaxing.

again, things are coming down to the issue of money. i would really like some new clothes. but, at the same time, i know i cannot commit myself to the vrdl unless i am able to afford to be a member of the league. that means that i've not been going to training sessions, because most times i've been having to borrow someone's skates and then return them halfway through the session and it's been a little frustrating. i'm thinking that i had *ahem* a rather large sum of money put into my bank account, i can -almost- afford the skates i was looking for. which means, a little more for shipping plus some extra goodies...
but then the money i was saving for clothes will be used for skates. so, again, things are down to the issue of funding. and i wish it wasn't so.

ugh. tafe stuff i have to finish off this week, just painting and sculpture, and then i'm on holidays. the sooner its done the sooner i can go skate. i'd rather be skating.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaah i need a whole bunch of new music. go, go, recommend! i'm kinda thinking, more rockin' swingin' kinda tunes guys.

-
a bit of domestics. i'm changing things around on this lj atm. maybe check it out when you have some time (and when my computer decides to co-operate -__-)

but i don't know what for.

2008-06-19T09:52:49Z

one thing i love about my life: i've been printmaking for the past week, non-stop (i;m trying to get all my work handed in this week). so my hands are covered in ink, thats pretty damn hard to get out of your fingertips. and i really don't like printmaking at all, to be honest. but, this week, i've has people in the street, or people i've just met respect me. i have been respected, just because i engross myself if what i love. i mean, it's really not an attractive thing, having your fingers look like they've been harrased by a permenant texta. but for some odd reason, i don't know, something has changed. it's a strange thing, respect...
i have never felt so respected or felt like people are actually interested in what i do, ever.
and it's a nice thing, to feel respected. to feel like people actually enjoy your company, want you to stay around, talk with you.

this wednesday i ran into a friend i hadn't seen in a while. and, i was never really close with this person. but, they do what they can to make me feel comfortable and wanted whenever they can. i'm very grateful for this person, especially as we are not very close friends at all.

i would love to think that maybe, one day, things will fix themselves. but that being said, nothing will ever get done if you sit around waiting for it to. i know i'm not an optimistic person, in fact, quite the opposite. but i like to think that good days are just as common as bad days. i like to think that my mind will not do what it does, all the time. i would like to think that i can beat this.
deja vu: did i not say this last week, last month, last year ?

no matter how happy i am, i know that i'll always have this inkling that things will take a turn for the worse.

do you have an opinion; a mind of your own ?
i thought you were special, i thought you should know.

i've been thinking so much about the people i hardly see. and the one's i hold onto because i love them so goddamn much. its slowly draining the life from me. i wish i could worry about everyone forever, but i know you can't help someone if they're not willing to help themselves. and, some people will never change - there is nothing you can do about that.

- also, just before i go to wait around for my internet to load things (*shakesfist!*), is anyone else a little bemused with the new myspazz settings? they're rather strange.
oh! add me if you haven't already -> clicky

♥

i wanna make you horny

2008-06-17T05:51:28Z

i know i've been updating like crazy the last few days, but oh well. it's mainly just for my mind.
but! i was updating my avatar on deviantart, and noticed that they've changed some of the settings and stuff around.
under a bit to add a button for what your webpage is it says this;

A website button is a button about your website. It represents the sum totality of all the buttons that make up the incredible awesomeness that is your website about buttons. Buttons buttons buttons. Buttons!

which i found absolutely hilarious. oddly.

oh. btw, my dad, is totally pissing me off atm. w00t!

f1aminko @ 2008-06-16T18:28:00

2008-06-16T08:35:04Z

my wish to get rid of scales from our house is still going ahead. but it just means now when they bones from my hips (poking through my buttocks) get really sore only from sitting on a cushined chair i assume that i'm at least at 43kg. i like this winter :)

half-empty bottle

2008-06-16T07:34:05Z

You know how sometimes people on your friends list post about stuff going on in their life, and all of a sudden you think "Wait a minute? Since when are they working THERE? Since when are they dating HIM/HER? since when???" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you should already know? It happens to all of us sometimes.

Please copy mine below, erase my answers putting yours in their place then post it in your journal! Please elaborate on the questions that would benefit from elaboration! One-Word-Answers seldom help anyone out.

1. First Name: catherine. yeah, plain ol' boring catherine. i have too many alias' to try and pick another one to change it too. i hate my name. i dislike most things that align me to an identity.

2. Age: 18. this takes up too much of my thoughts, tbh.

3. Location: templestowe in melbourne, australia (wooooooooooooo stalkers!). i want to move out, but that's not going to be happening anytime soon, due to lack of funds D:

4. Occupation: unemployed. you know what? i'm sick of getting my hopes up when i hand out resume's, and then don't even get any response. its rude, and also fantastic for my self esteem. with the hours i'm studying this year, i can't have a job. i'd be a mental case. honestly.

5. Partner: another great question. i'm single at the moment. and, to be honest, i'm love being single. and if i spent time with people all the time then maybe i wouldn't be this freaking lonely. its kinda lame, but i guess thats how i am at the moment.

6. Kids: never. i'm pretty much infertile. and let's face it, if i did get pregnant, it would probably kill me.

7. Brothers/Sisters: a little sister. did you know for her fifteenth birthday this year i bought a whole bunch of alcohol for her and her friends. and then got in a lot of trouble when i told my parents the truth. oh well.

8. Pets: my lovely dog, who is my emotional twin. a fat but warm cat, and birds that belong to my dad. if it was my choice they'd be dead by now. frigging annoying singing little shit machines *shakesfist*

9. List the three to five biggest things going on in your life: tafe. tafe. tafe.
no, honestly. my mind. i'm just consumed in this thing. its random.

10. Parents: they are both still alive and kicking. and married. but i think as soon as me and my sister move out they will get divorced. which is stupid, because we are the ones who have to put up with their shit.

11. Who are some of your closest friends? at the moment? i;m not sure. i harp on a lot about people being close to me and whatever, but right now i'm not sure. to be entirely honest. there are people that, when im with them, i have the best time. but i get home and exhale and things are just, not right. i can feel it in my chest.
i think i need to start again with a lot of people, but i don't have the heart to actually confront people about what is going on.

then again. maybe it's just my mind being a retard. hohum.

f1aminko @ 2008-06-15T22:14:00

2008-06-15T12:20:17Z

these glasses are to die for! *swoon*

i hate the week countdown to things. its stupid.

eeeeeeeeeeeek my painting looks crappy. oh well.

i go into the doc's on wednesday for some good ol' tooth-drillin action. w00t!

looking for models

2008-06-14T09:05:55Z

i'm looking for anyone who might not have even had much experience to shoot and idea i've been sitting on for a while.
it's mainly something conceptual, something close to my heart; so i'm kinda looking for a particular look.

but also! that doesn't mean i don't mind shooting any other kind of ideas. i'm just looking for some work to do, to be honest.

if you know anyone who is interested, just contact me somehow.
spread the word !

x-posted around the place